So, I have been feeling a little strange this week. I think I have been avoiding writing this blog post, too. I want nothing more than everyone to think studying abroad or just being away from normal life is a piece of cake. At times, it can be. Unfortunately, right now is not one of those times. Nonetheless, I am having a hard time with coming to terms with if this is actually homesickness or not. I thought maybe homesickness would be more powerful, like a bad flu that would come out of nowhere and would leave me bedridden. Right now, that is not exactly how I feel. I feel a little zombie-like… I can function just fine, but somewhere inside of me I feel dead.

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I did not want to get homesick so soon (I have been gone exactly one month tomorrow), but I am on my way there. If I had to make it more understandable, let’s just say I am on a roller coaster of homesickness. Right now, I am halfway between the highest point and the lowest point, but I am hoping and praying that the lowest point does not come anytime soon. I suppose I am not very surprised that I feel the way I do right now. This week I missed my parent’s wedding anniversary and two important birthdays. As I look to the very near future, I will be away from my family on the one-year anniversary since my aunt passed away. And of course, missing Valentine’s Day with my boyfriend will not be very fun either. I don’t know. Maybe, I am thinking too much, and maybe I am just being a little too emotional. Whatever it is, it is real.

I felt this was important to talk about because I believe the first step to dealing with homesickness is to identify why I feel the way I do. Now that I understand why I have felt bad this week, I feel I can tackle my homesickness. To begin, I did what most women do when they feel upset: I called my mom. Moms have a magical way of knowing just what to say, and they can make any bad day feel so much better. She reminded me that I need to look toward the good things coming up in the future. Soon I will be traveling to Sevilla, Spain and Zurich, Switzerland, and I need to focus on the awesome opportunity I have to travel. Also, my boyfriend, Michael, will be visiting me in Spain for a week at the beginning of March. I cannot wait to see him and to have some part of home with me here in Spain. As negative as I felt like being, my mom helped me see that I have so many beautiful things to look forward to.

To try and escape my homesickness, I have been wandering around Salamanca a lot, too. It has been so neat to wander this city and to find things that are not necessarily tourist attractions. I have stumbled upon intriguing street art, listened to the musical stylings of a local accordionist, and have been tempted to pet every last dog I have seen. I have drank countless cups of café con leche (coffee with milk) as I have discovered the most amazing little cafés. I even stumbled upon a Dunkin Donuts while traveling to Segovia, Spain, which made this doughnut-loving girl so happy. All the while, most of this time has been spent alone. I have gone to an occasional café with friends this week, but I have been cherishing my alone time in which I can reflect and really cope with my feelings of homesickness. Being alone is not terrible, if it has a genuine purpose.

As I sit here in my usual café drinking yet another café con leche, I feel one of the last steps to conquering my homesickness has been writing this blog post. As much as I avoided it, opening up about my feelings has really helped. I feel as though I have been given an unique opportunity to get these feelings off my chest, and I feel better.

So, yes, homesickness is real, and it is not fun at all. But, it is best to recognize what you are feeling so that you can deal with your emotions before you reach your breaking point. Talk to someone about how you feel, whether it be a parent, friend, host parent, or the people reading a blog post. Look to the future with excitement. Escape the normalcy of the everyday, and just walk and think and reflect. Take it from me, it is best to deal with homesickness before you reach the lowest low on the rollercoaster of homesickness.