What does Salamanca mean to me? Well, it means the world. I truly believe that if you could take a picture of my heart, it would be in the shape of Salamanca. Everything about this place has changed my life forever, and I will never forget the impact studying abroad and being in Spain has had on my life. With that being said, leaving Salamanca was one of the hardest things I have had to do in my life.

Early on Saturday morning, I woke up around 3 a.m. restless and feeling depressed. I knew I had to wake up in just a few hours, but I could not help but think about how much I love Salamanca, my host mom, and the time I have had here. I cried and cried thinking about saying my final goodbye to Basi. My heart ached with sadness, and I never did get back to bed. Once I finally pulled myself out of bed, I packed up the rest of my things, cried over my last breakfast, and tried my hardest to hide my emotions from Basi. But, she is smarter than that. She knew I was upset, and seeing the tears in my eyes, brought tears to hers as well.

We finally headed downstairs with my giant suitcase and backpack as we awaited the taxi to take me to the bus station to head to the airport. We hugged and cried in the freezing cold, and she ensured me that I was always welcome to come back with my boyfriend one day. As I stood there saying my goodbye, I wanted nothing more than it all to be a dream. A nightmare. I could not leave her… I could not fathom it… but, I had to go. Somehow we managed to fit my bags in the trunk of the taxi, I looked at her one final time as she sweet waved goodbye, and that was it. We were pulling away… away from the life I had for four months. The pain in my heart was hard to bear, but I know how loved Basi made me feel during our time together. I will forever be grateful for that woman for as long as I live, and I cannot wait to hopefully come back one day.

For the rest of that day, in the taxi, on the bus, on the plane to Paris, I felt overcome with sadness. I cried a lot, and I probably looked like a hot mess in front of a lot of people, but my emotions were so raw and my cuts were so fresh. As I slipped away from the Salamanca skyline, all I could think about was how badly I wish memories could be bottled up in tiny containers. I would put each moment, each loving memory of Salamanca into little bottles that I could reopen at any time. I fear for the day that my memories of Salamanca escape me, and for that reason, I felt driven to remember every last moment during my time in Spain.

Saturday was just a very difficult day, a day that I wish did not have to live. But, I feel grateful for my life and blessings, and my journey is not over at all. I am currently in Dublin, Ireland with my best friend from home, Kadi. Being that I am still traveling, I feel as though I have been distracted from the sadness I feel about having to leave Salamanca. I am thankful for that distraction, because otherwise I would probably be crying every moment. But, I am having a great time and will make a post about our last shebang in Europe before I come Monday. Although my time in Europe is running out, I look forward to coming home to see my family, friends, and boyfriend. Only two days left!

sinceramente